‘Squatched Out – Part II

In this conclusion to Bigfoot month, the month full of (subjecting ourselves to) Bigfoot films, I’ll give you the rundown of what we viewed, and some quick final thoughts on the final fortnight of ‘foot. We will also learn the answers to the following questions:

1. Was it worth it?
2. Do we hate ourselves more or less now?
3. Would we do it all again?

The first installment of ‘Squatched out, covered the following films:

1. The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972)
2. Creature From Black Lake (1976)
3. Curse of Bigfoot (1975)
4. Demonwarp (1988)
5. Yeti: Giant of the 20th Century (1977)

In this installment I’ll cover the rest of Bigfoot-centric films viewed this July of two-thousand and eighteen.

6. Bigfoot the Movie (2015)
7. Devil on the Mountain (2016)
8. Exists (2014)
9. The Geek (1971)
10. Wrath of the Skunkape (1997)

I lost my notes, so I apologize in advance. But also I don’t because I’m so tired of Bigfoot. Okayherewego.
Bigfoot the Movie. This flick sat in my amazon prime queue along with at least a dozen other ‘foot flicks, and earned itself a view from it’s ludicrous title. Bigfoot, but not like the ENTITY, but rather just the MOVIE. BtM was basically a romantic comedy with a bunch of gross jokes, redneck gags, and the occasional Bigfoot, set in PA. It was clearly heavily inspired by Tucker and Dale vs Evil, but didn’t reach the bar set by that genius movie. In the end it was pretty watchable. Chuckles were had. It looked professional.
5/10.

img_0536

Then it was time to watch a film I have heard much about. Exists. Exists uses found footage and puts it to a cabin in the woods story with Bigfoot as the uninvited guest. Exists is The Blair Witch Project, but with Bigfoot. I’m not really kidding. Eduardo Sánchez directed both. Exists isn’t as bare bones as his former hit, and it definitely doesn’t have that same realistic feel. Ultimately I found it decent. I felt much joy every time someone was chased with a Sasquatch barreling through the woods behind them.
7/10.

img_0535
If that is quite enough, I’m late for band practice.

Then, I had to fold laundry. Might as well throw a movie on! Let’s try Devil on the Mountain! Y’know, I wish I hadn’t. This is SyFy feature fare. Lance Heriksen and Cerina Vincent do nothing to redeem this pile of garbage. It’s so conflated with bank robbers and cops and poorly executed attempts at character depth that the whole mess is a cringe-fest.  This is the type of bad movie I don’t like. Beware Devil on the Mountain.
1/10.

img_0537
I am a turd. Avoid me.

Thank God The Merits of Sin was here to pick up the pieces and deliver on another truly wtf sounding flick. Pre-dating The Legend of Boggy Creek was a Porno called The Geek. Read his review here and get ready for a good laugh. I need to track this thing down!

img_6452
Who wants to get down ‘n’ dirty with the Geek?

Finally, we reach the end. I have heard the Bigfoot referred to as Skunk Ape on multiple occasions, so when I found a movie on YouTube called Wrath of the Skunk Ape, I was intrigued. I knew it would be low budget, as the channel I watched it from posts only poor quality, laughable, and low-budget films. I didn’t realize it’s the type of thing your obnoxious neighbor would make on the weekend. It would all be well and good if there was any talent involved in the production of this thing. You can see HEART and SOUL through a goose egg budget. This one had none of those things, just a man in a monkey suit that rapes a clothed girl in a tent. I promise, it’s even less interesting than it sounds.
1/10

img_0540
Fear my wrath, banana.

Now, to answer the questions posited above:

1. Was it worth it?
Yes.
2. Do we hate ourselves more or less now?
Yes.
3. Would we do it all again?
Maybe, yes.

Thank goodness Bigfoot month of 2018 is over! I hope you found a modicum of enjoyment in reading about the perils of subjecting oneself to a misguided endeavor. There is a chance for more themed months in the future. Drop a comment with any suggestions, and remember to stay slime, and be rad at all times.

-Rat


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