Schlock & Gore: Jungle Trap (2016)

Does your friend getting decapitated really bum you out? It certainly bums out the expedition crew in Jungle Trap. They don’t end up in hysterics or anything, but gosh darn are they ever ruffled! Shucks!

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“Aw, man!”

You ever play pretend when you were younger? Maybe like as Indiana Jones with guns or something? Well Jungle Trap is kinda like that. It follows a crew of anthropologists (so to speak) through the jungle (so to speak) to obtain an idol for their museum. They are bad at not getting decapitated. In reality this all looks like a bunch of schmoes exploring a house with many plants in it. Movie masochists unite, this baby is pure, uncut, self-flagellation from Don’t Go in the Woods Director James Bryan.

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“You see that over there? We call that a budget, Betsy. We may never see one.”

If you know about the ludicrous zeal of Don’t Go in the Woods, then you have an idea of what you’re in for with Jungle Trap. It should be said, however, that Jungle Trap is much more dense with lunacy than its more infamous cousin.

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Fancy hotel dining rooms got me like

Initially, Jungle Trap was never supposed to see the light of day (more on that later), but seeing as it did see the light of day, we get to witness the Shot-on-video candy that is the apparition of the world’s creepiest bellhop, handfuls of cringe-inducing romance, and a Renee Harmon performance that would rival that of her performance in Frozen Scream.

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“Ms Harmon! I loved you in Frozen Scream!”
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“Hey guys, is this your cermonial dagger”

I don’t want to give away any of the wonderful one-liners or reveal the source of all the hoodoo voodoo. What I want is for you to blind buy this and force feed it to all of your friends. It’s the perfect sort of WTF for your PBR-sodden bad movie night, riff-a-thon, or Shitlords club.

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Jungle Trap seems to confirm my suspicion that we are truly experiencing a lost movie renaissance. Similar to how Nightbreed‘s so-called “Cabal Cut”, Clive Barker’s preferred version of his film, was expected never to come to light until endless digging found the old workprints to rework and assemble 24 years later. Or, perhaps like Dangerous Men, a film that was in production for over two decades before finally being patched together and released. Jungle Trap was shot, but abandoned after principal photography and never completed. Then in 2016, 26 years after the fact, it gets discovered, edited, scored, and now screened thanks to the folks at Bleeding Skull! Video and Mondo! July 26th marks the official release for the VHS, DVD, and VOD.

5/10 (it’s one of those you just have to see)

Stay slime, and be rad at all times!

-Rat


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